I’ve recently undergone an identity shift. Not an identity crisis, per se, but a redefinition. I have once again become a student. After taking a year off from school, I’ve decided to pursue a master of arts in teaching, as well as my teaching credential in English.
The first week, I heard my inner dialogue resisting the change. “Class? How are you going to fit that into your 30-hour work week? Homework? Can you do any of it during your regular TV programming?” I soon realized that I needed to make school a priority again, like it was for nearly seventeen years of my life.
It got me thinking about how many times in this past year I’ve had to reform my identity, and how it would soon be changing again.
Identity shift from lifetime student since kindergarten to UCLA graduate: check.
Identity shift from UCLA graduate to server/bartender at a local restaurant: check (but not without some friction deep in my soul. Try explaining that you’re well-educated to the often-demeaning businessman lunch crowd. “Bring me some more fries and another Diet Coke, miss. Make it quick.” “Certainly, sir, and by the way, did you know I graduated with honors from a prestigious university?” More to come on this in future postings.)
Identity shift from non-student server/bartender to graduate student: check.
Identity shift from graduate student to student teacher: coming in January.
Identity shift from student teacher with a master’s degree to unemployed, credentialed teacher: stay tuned for next summer.
2 possible outcomes after this point:
A) Identity shift from unemployed, credentialed teacher to full-time junior high or high school English teacher: September 2011.
B) Identity shift from unemployed, credentialed teacher to full-time server/bartender at a local restaurant: September 2011.
I’m going to do everything in my power to make Option A happen. The job market for teachers looks bleak right now (Morale is low in my program. Learning how to be an excellent professional in a career with few to no jobs available is somewhat paradoxical. More on that in future postings, as well.), but I am convinced it has to improve. But whatever happens, life goes on, and I will continue to grow and develop.
Humans, as a species, adapt well to change. I will still be living and breathing and functioning a year from now, after undergoing all of these identity changes. But what happens to my identity, to my core, to my soul? Is it strengthened or squashed? I like to think of these identity shifts as steps in a metamorphosis, a caterpillar-to-butterfly story. I’m gradually becoming the person I was created to be.
